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Pilot

Pilot jokes

You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.

Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.

You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"

Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.

Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.

I caught a cold, Mary Earp caught the ball, what did the towers catch? The plane.

Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.

Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?

Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.

Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.

The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.

(The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.

The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.

I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11.

My dad died to it, he was a great pilot.

Pilot: This is my last flight, everyone.

Passengers: *Clap*

Pilot: I became a pilot for one reason: To conquer my greatest fear.

Flight Attendant: And what is that?

Pilot: Dying alone. *speeds up towards Twin Towers*

Also the Pilot: Now who is ready to play some Jen---

“Who are the fastest readers in the world?”

“The 9/11 pilots, they did 30 stories in 7 seconds.”

Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.

Guys, you shouldn't joke about 9/11.

My great-uncle died that day. Best damn pilot in Iraq.