New Phone Jokes - Page 10 - Worst Jokes Ever

Me: Calls 9-1-1.

Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?

Me: *hangs up*

Yo Mama is so fat, that when i unfollowed her on instagram, my phone got 1 GB of storage

Little Johnny is walking in the hallway and goes in his brothers room and catches him watching something so he asks “what you watching” his brother replies “ nothing “ and drops his phone but the he gets a text from his teacher texted him a picture of her naked saying “ after school come fuck me “ so Johnny looks and says “ ew I’m telling mom” and he ran with his brothers phone and showed his mom and his mom said “ok johnny I’ll take care of you brother “ and she told him to leave and he did and his brother ran in his moms room naked and his mom said “oh that’s big how about you do what your teacher told you to do to her to me” and a few hours later Johnny heard weird noises coming from the room so he walked in and saw them (his brother and mom) having sex so he closed the door and walked away

Me: *Calls friend* "Dude I just fell off a 50 foot ladder!" Friend: "Bro, you ok?!" Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"

Why do japenees people hate I phones because there scared that American air drop will fall on it

What do phones and orphans have in common? They selfie. (Its because they don't have parents)

little johnny fucked a girl ran away fucked another ran went to the strip club got a private dance he has sex with them fucking ran yelled to some random bitch ass guy fuck him hes a bitch he bends down they have sex on the street they go home have sex little johnny wakes up questions himself fucking does it again he goes to the strip club fucks some more people when he is drunk questions himself some more then tries phone sex but his dick is to small

My Mum texted me she had lost her phone

I was at my grandpas this weakend and I sent my online girlfriend nudes and when I sent them my grandpas phone when of so he when on his phone then my girlfriend replied

Grandpa said no phone near the table so I said your not allowed near the school

Karien: Don't care. You know what you did.

Jalie: I don't know what you mean. I did nothing! I'm telling the truth!

Karien: Sure. So you mean you never texed Oerien last night around 2:00 am?

Jalie: NO I NEVER DID THAT!

Karien: Jalie stop the story telling. You were the one who had my phone yesterday. Just stop.

little johnny was walking on the street alone one day and saw a robber. Little Johnny says to him "give the mother fucking broken ass piece of shit back." to which the robber says "FUCK YOU I don't wanna." little johnny calls the police and says " A robber is stealing a broken ass piece of shit purse. the police said "how old are you." little johnny then hangs up the phone

Joker gives batman a phone thomas:uhh son we need to talk... about the uhh dressing up. martha:hello dearie brucie is it ok if you visit me when you go to jokers house

Joke 1# ' Knock Knock ' Whos there? ' Pastur ' Pastur who? ' Past ur bedtime '.

Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.

Joke 3# Your momas so fat when she stepped on the weigh it said, " I asked for your weigh not you phone number. "

Yo momma is so fat when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight not your phone number."

Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.

The Titanic, just like my phone IT JUST WON'T SYNC

Edit: Never mind it started to sync...

I got my orphan kid a phone she was pressing the home button but it didn't work

Father O'Reilly ran into a young woman whose mother attended his church at the market. "Ah, Mary Agnes, congratulations!"

She gave him a puzzled look. "On what?"

"Your mother tells me you've been praying to St. Gerard and finally got pregnant, it's a miracle."

Mary Agnes sighed. "My mother needs to get hearing aids if she's going to eavesdrop on my phone calls to friends. I said it'll be a miracle if I get pregnant since the only thing I'm fucking is a St. Bernard."