A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.
Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."
"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with her?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"
"Yes."
"May I talk with him?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy," whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."
Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"
Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...
Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:
"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."
Me: truth or dare?
Crush: dare
Me: I dare you to give me your phone number
Crush: umm nevermind truth
Me: ok what is your phone number
When an American goes on a weight the other person will say "I asked for your weight, not your phone number"!
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
I want your weight not your phone number
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale the doctor said I want your weight and not phone number
Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale the scale said I’m trying to get your weight not your phone number
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"
Why did Michael Jackson die?
Because I have a new phone number, and he does not know.
You're so fat that when you got on the scales they said "I need your weight not your phone number"
A policeman once said, "I will never forget 9/11."
I said, "I hope not, that’s your phone number!"
When you step on the weighing scale it shows your phone number!
A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.
My name, my address, and my phone number.
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
Yo momma is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number."
If you wanna get fat what's the quickest way to do it? Eat two jars of mayo each day and in about a month your scale will have your phone number!
