Pet jokes
Two men are walking down the street and see a dog licking its balls. One man says, "I wish I could do that." The other one says, "You can probably just pet him."
What was Stephen Hawking's pet?
A hawk.
I named my dog "5 miles" so I could say I ran five miles today. I ran over 5 miles.
You got a dig bick.
You read that wrong.
You read that wrong too.
Maybe you read that wrong as well.
You just went and back-checked.
You reread all of that.
You have a pet wussy.
You read that wrong...
You need mental help.
Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...
Day 18
What did the bounty hunter call his favorite dog?
His Boba Pet.
What is so good about a dog that cannot see? Nothing is good.
What's yellow and can’t swim?
Your dead fish.
I was crying because my dad was cutting onions...
Onions was a good dog.
My dog got stuck in my ass, help!
Cats are like onions; when I cut them, I cry.
What is a Mexican's favorite type of dog?
A Chihuahua.
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.
I have a pussy. It's very hairy. It has a long thing sticking out of it. It's also very hair. My hairy pussy meows and purrs.
Subscribe to Cboystv, or I will eat you like Asians do to pets.
Little Johnny attends school regularly and often brings a box of sultanas as a gift to his favorite teacher.
One morning Little Johnny attends class without a box of sultanas.
The teacher enquires, why Johnny "where is my box of sultanas?"
Johnny replied, "Sorry, miss, my rabbit died."
Why do white people colonize everything?
To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Well, neither did she!
What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?
Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.
Simplest way to tell if dogs are better than cats: My dog is named Curiosity, and your cat is dead.