Pet Jokes

what happens when you eat a cat I love to eat cats for dinner

What's a rapper's favorite kind of pet?

A BOOMBOXER

How do you make a cat sound like a dog?

You set it on fire- then it goes WOOF!

if your a cat person never let hungry chinese into your house they might just have a snack

Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.

Q: If a cat says to a dog all dogs are liars and the dog says to the cat all cats are liars what does it mean?

A; It means cats and dogs can talk.

Where do you mix a bunny and a hare

Bunny hare

I NAMED MY DOG J AND everyone thought I SAID JAM

I left my dog at home once and when I came home it was a mess, lets say I was in a RUFF situation

what has 4 legs and 1 arm?- -a pitbull in a children's play area

I was chopping onions with my brothers so my little sisters cryed onions was a good dog

Why don’t you have a pet cheetah

There cheetah you

My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.

Like bitch we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.

My mom wanted me to brush my hair.

And I just told her that even pet animals don't like there hare brushed...

When you steal the weird pet rock so he pulls out his pet glock

I'm happy that i named my dog i know what you did. Its funny to see how much people get scared when i call him.

Wacko Jacko bleached his skin, lit his head on fire, slept in a chamber, abused his pet monkey, built an amusement park on his own backyard, had toys as decor for his home, slept with little boys, raped little boys. Jacko was Florida Man before Florida Man.

A cat gets its tail run over, and it’s mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”

The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”

Guess who dies next.

( Guy 1: Why my cat's so angry ? ) ( Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage ) ( Guy 1: Don't you ? ) ( Guy 2: Yeah it seems delicious ) ( Guy 1: Mmm so .. w-wait what are you doing ? I didn't think you mean the one in my lunch :< where are you leaving #_# ) **Meow ...** ( Guy 1: Shut up i will never feed you this sausage it's not for you :< -_- </3 )