what do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter whutcha call him he ain't comin'
Omg wassup dude why does your hair look just like a young whoopi Goldberg from the color purple them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head you look like a damn cheetah pet che che che cheetah they available at Wal-Mart dollar tree target and kroger.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sour-puss.
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
What do you call a dog that tells the time ?
a watchdog
my sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks im irresponsible so i throw it out the window
I had a dog with an eating disorder. He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
A good dog name is Syndrome. That way when it tries attacking, you can yell, "Down, Syndrome!"
I was reading a book about an immortal dog yesterday...
It was impossible to put down
As a little boy I walked in on my parents having intercourse one night, and of course, my parents stopped and sent me back to bed.
The next day my dad tells me "Don't worry son, I wasn't hurting mommy, we were just trying to make you a little sister."
So, when I was young I always wanted a pet. I then looked at my father and asked "Could you do mommy doggy style next time? I want a puppy."
One man's pet is another man's dinner.
I once had a pet snake, exactly 3.14 meters. He was a great πthon.
Doc: can I help u? Girl: doctor I have pain in my heart? Doc: when did it begin? Girl: right now ( seeing hem like doll ). Doc: hh..do you like me? I know I am handsome... Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. U just look like someone I know. Doc: Who is that? Is ur boyfriend? Girl: No, it’s my pet ( rabbit) his name is Rokie.
Why don’t you have a pet cheetah
There cheetah you
Why is the chicken that crossed the road a cannibal? Because he went to KFC.
When a cat gets a sibling do they say Oh shit another mew kid?!?!?!?!
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
I NAMED MY DOG J AND everyone thought I SAID JAM
my cat is is red and brown and her bones are crunchy so does that mean she is a kit kat
You got a black cat. He was bad luck. Everyone left you and you comited suicide. What a CATastrophe.
