Ur adopted.
If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.
So, one day I saw a dog outside, so I played with it. Then I was like, "I’m gonna see its name and where it lives." So I did. Then... its name was Momo. Then I looked to see where it lived. It said "Joe Momma Street."
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time bone appetit
If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Why do white people colonize everything?
To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.
I was reading a book about an immortal dog, it was impossible to put down.
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.
I walk in on my mum and she's in the middle of pulling off my dad's boxers. I said, "Mum, you really spoil those dogs!"
We were so poor when we were kids, dad used to jerk off the dog to feed the cat.
Dad: Hey son, wanna hear a joke?
Son: Sure thing, dad!
Dad: Your mother and I are getting a divorce. She found out that I was sleeping with the neighbor's dog!
Son: I don't get the joke, dad.
Dad: It's my life, son! My life is the joke.
