Pet jokes
I used to have a goldfish which breakdanced on the floor. But only for like twenty seconds.
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
Ur adopted.
If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.
So, one day I saw a dog outside, so I played with it. Then I was like, "Iβm gonna see its name and where it lives." So I did. Then... its name was Momo. Then I looked to see where it lived. It said "Joe Momma Street."
Why do orphans love dogs?
Because dogs stay with them.
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
What did the skeleton say to his dog at dinner time? Bone appΓ©tit!
If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Why do white people colonize everything?
To steal a culture for themselves, something other than fornicating with anything that moves including their own children and pets, which they already do.
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
Are you my fish? Because you're supposed to be dead.
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.
I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.
I was reading a book about an immortal dog, it was impossible to put down.
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
My girlfriend's dog died, so I got her a new one in replacement, and she went off on me and yelled,
"What am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs in my house?!"
Whatβs the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.