What does a cigarette and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
I was at school one day, and my teacher gave me homework. Once I got home, I did not do my homework, but I watched TV. After the movie, I finally went to go do my homework. I was almost done with my homework when I got to the last question. I didn't know the answer, so I asked the closest living being to me, which was my dog, and I asked him: what's two minus two? He said nothing.
Hears a clean joke: My horse got muddy, so I gave him a bubble bath.
Now hears a dirty joke: Bubbles is the horse next door.
I couldn't find my cat, and then my pillow started meowing.
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
The last thing I said to my dog was,
"Play dead."
you masturbate... AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH you wont get any squirtle and bulbasaur pets
What do you call a deaf dog? As you like, he doesn't hear you anyway.
Sometimes I am happy and there are times I envy my dog 🤧
My wife got mad at me because I took our life savings and brought golden retrievers.
Like, bitch, we can get gold because of these golden retrievers.
My mom ate my food, so I ate her pet hamster.
Why did the cats go in the litterbox?? To take a poop!
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
I’m part of the anti anime association, but I’m starting to like anime. What do I do?
And for the joke: What do you call a dog with no back legs and a pair of metal balls? Sparky.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
I used to have a goldfish which breakdanced on the floor. But only for like twenty seconds.
My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!
Ur adopted.
If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.
