Person Jokes

What does a disabled person want to be when they grow up? A stand-up comedian.

What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?

Perform fellatio.

Campbell.

Why did the suicidal person cross the road? He was waiting for a car.

What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?

One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.

(Yes, I know God created the rainbow, not Jesus.)

The meme consists of two images side-by-side. On the left is a picture of a young boy with a slight smirk. On the right is a white cat with wide eyes and a creepy smile. Above the two images, the text reads, "When you are the first person in the online class and it's just you and the teacher."

Name one person who would take an orphan?

Michael Jackson, so they can play all night.

P = Person (not original "pun")

P1: Hey girl! P2: I got a bf! P1: Well, I got a Lamborghini Aventador, a Bugatti Super Sports, a yacht, and a private plane. P2: BF stand for breakfast. P2: Oh, and also, where did you get all that stuff? P1: GTA5 P2: You motherfucker!!!

(Communications with this person are now blocked)

Why did Stephen Hawking roll across the road?

Because he had amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.

Someone kills an emotionally weak person by hard words and bullying.

No one will suspect the killer was anyone who took part.

A man who desperately wanted to be good after serving time in prison was visited by an Angel. "You want to change? You can still enter heaven on two conditions. You must bet on the horses with any money you have and pass your winnings to someone less fortunate, and you must never hold on to any beef." The Angel then disappeared.

The man did as was told and became generous and kind. As he emerged from the betting office with all his money, he would pass every penny of it all to a deserving person each and every time.

He, however, couldn't seem to avoid meat and would still eat it no matter what.

When he died, the Angel came back for him.

"But I'm undeserving; I can't come with you," he said.

"Yes, you can," replied the Angel, "you gave all your stake (steak) away."

What do you call a Mexican without a car?

Carlos.

The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.

Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.

Robert Ryall

The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.

What did one cheese say to the other cheese?

"Hello, it's a nice day, do you have any plans on what you're going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.