Person jokes
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
When someone says: "You're a mistake."
Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."
You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
Like if its true
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.
What do u call a person called zaid? Zait and za3tar. lol
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
Why can't a homeless person win a baseball game?
They can't find home plate.
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
Why do you want me?
Cus u like me...
What do you mean?
You love me.
No.
Look down.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
Every single person on the plane died except for 2. How is that possible?
It said all the single people died; the 2 were a couple. That's how it was possible.
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Som Ting Wong.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?