Person jokes

What’s a gay person’s favorite book?

The dictionary.

I was just sitting down when all of a sudden she screamed, "Help!"

Person one: What did the DJ name his son?

Person two: IDK, what?

Person one: Erik (while making a DJ motion).

Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?

Person: Yea, why?

Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows.

Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.

Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.

What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?

Carlos.

What do you call an orphan?

A bootysnagger45.

Regular depressed person: I'm depressed, so I'll go see a therapist.

Me: I'm depressed, so I won't do anything about it, work on many projects at the same time, destroying my sanity slowly while relying on caffeine and pills as my only way to take down my headaches, and making memes about it online to help myself cope with the pain.

*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".

The whole lot collapsed and buried him.

What’s a Mexican person’s favorite spot?

Cross country. 😉

What's the difference between a Black person and a white person?

Black people don't shoot up schools.

(First Person): Knock knock, who's there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, knock knock, who's there, time to make a move, slayin' all then demons and we gotta move in too.

(Second Person): Knock knock, (1st p): who's there, let me talk to you, be careful where you steppin' out cause you ain't bullet proof, knock knock, who's there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didn't come to hoop.

How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?

Your dog's gone.

Your finances are done.

And your floaties.

Things said by racist aliens:

"Some of my best friends are Green."

"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."

"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."

"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"

"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."

"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"

"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."

"Get the hell out of my store you grigger!"

"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"

Life is too short, just like me. Get roasted, short people!

Knock knock.

Me, a person: Who's there?

A: Deez nuts!

When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.

Why are you so tired if you can’t see? Because you are blind.

When you realize the person reading this is a clown.