Person jokes
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
What do emos use as birth control?
Their personalities!
Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*
Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.
Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?
When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.
They say Disneyland is the happiest place on earth. Well, apparently, no one has ever been standing next to you.
Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?
Me: Me.
Friend: *does nothing*
(x_x)
I forgot that I don't have friends.
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
Why can't a homeless person win a baseball game?
They can't find home plate.
How do you piss off a color blind person?
Give them a Rubik's cube.
I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.
The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
Has anyone else ever been jealous when their laptop dies?
I was just sitting down when all of a sudden she screamed, "Help!"