The teacher was asking some of her students the meanings of words.
"Sally, can you tell me what 'beautiful' means?"
Sally: "You..."
Teacher: "Aww! How nice! But next time, say the actual definition. Now, can someone tell me what 'malicious' means?"
Andrew: "A dangerous person and/or virus."
Teacher: "Great job, Andrew! Now, what does 'fat' mean? Johnny?"
Johnny: "A pig."
Teacher: "Could you tell me the actual defini- "
Johnny: "In other words, the person who last spoke to me!"
Your mama is so fat, it said "To be continued..." then it loaded and said "One person at a time!"
What do you call a person that can't operate a wheelchair?
Stephen Hawking.
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
When a person yells, just laugh and remember that they can’t hurt what’s already dead.
When I throw a dodge ball at a person taller than me, it's always a nut shot.
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
I'm illegal.
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
"I’m going through a lot of things right now," I said frustratedly to the person on the line as I crashed straight through the next building in my car.
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
What do EMO kids use as birth control? Their Personalities.
What do you call someone with no legs?
Disabled.
What's a suicidal person's favorite drink?
The depressay expressay.
Just kidding, bleach!
You are so skinny that they won't let you ride a fucking roller coaster because you flew before.
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.
What do you call a hungry person?
African.
What do you call a disabled person that can walk?
Enabled.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
