Perception jokes
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." Anybody relate?
Your hairline is so bad, when people see the back of your head they say "nice beard!"
Your hairline is back, people say. "Look at this dude."
What did the blind kid get for his birthday?
I don't know, he still didn't look.
Who is the blindest person in the world?
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"?
A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.
I think she was pulling my leg.
Have you ever seen a blind man swim?
No.
Neither has he.
Guy: shows girlfriend his dick.
Girlfriend: "Cool, where is it?"
Your hairline is so far back that when I put on my glasses, I thought I saw an "M" for McDonald's on your hairline.
My friend said he saw a blind man. I said, "Did he LOOK nice?"
Your hairline is so far back I need binoculars to see it!
My friend saw your forehead and realized you're gay.
I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.
Helen Keller walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and a wall.
Did you know Helen Keller had a dollhouse in her backyard?
No, and neither did she.
Adam and Eve are going through the garden when Adam suddenly says, "What race are we?"
Eve responds with, "Ask God, he will tell you." So Adam goes over to a hill and asks, "God, what race are we?"
God says, "You are what you are."
Adam goes back to Eve and says, "We are white." Eve asks how he knew that. Adam responds with, "If we were black, he would have said 'you is what you is'."
Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
Jesus lives on a long timeline, so he may seem slow to you.
Why can't people understand these jokes?