People

People jokes

Capacity

  • Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.

  • 0
  • Plant

  • 9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.

    2 people bought plants.

    3 people bought shovels.

    1 person yelled.

    3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.

    1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁‍♀️🤦‍♀️

    Abortion

  • Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?

    A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.

  • 2
  • Klondike Bar

  • People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.

  • 0
  • Adoption

  • Mom, why was I adopted?

    Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!

    Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!

    Tuxedo

  • My question is, how do fat people fit in tuxedos? Honestly, don’t wear those. Wear your regular clothes. Your belly is just gonna pop out!

  • 1
  • Polar Bear

  • How do you catch a polar bear?

    Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.

    Advert

  • Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.

    And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.

    Mozart

  • Mozart doesn't care if Bach is better than him; at least he puts a lot of emotion [into his music and] he makes people happy.

  • 1