People jokes
Video games don't make people violent, lag does.
A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."
A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."
<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*
Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
Life is a bitch, and people make it worse.
This thing that I'm in ("am") is a forsaken curse (beta).
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
I know five fat people, and you're three of them.
There are millions of people in the world, yet you are here.
9 people walked into Bunnings Warehouse.
2 people bought plants.
3 people bought shovels.
1 person yelled.
3 people left Bunnings Warehouse.
1 person was me. I guess those three people are fired! 💁♀️🤦♀️
Which country of the world has the poorest/most hungry people?
Answer: Hungary
Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?
A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.
People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.
Abdi and Tunde are real.
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
When fat people smash, it must feel like a huge submarine hitting you.
My question is, how do fat people fit in tuxedos? Honestly, don’t wear those. Wear your regular clothes. Your belly is just gonna pop out!
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.