Penis jokes
I have fuck and sex with all the sexy naked ladies and they suck my balls (penis), but you ain't have no girlfriend. Your only friend, they call him ching chong coz of your hairline.
How did the man with a small penis become a rapist? His condom fell off.
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".
The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."
What does Trump stand for?
Trump Runs Underneath My Penis.
My friend was getting bullied so I went over and asked him to stop. It went a little bit like this:
Me: Dude, leave her alone. Him: Beat it, b*tch. *lots of arguing and swearing* Me: Ya know! The smartest thing that ever came outta your mouth was probably a penis. Him: *walks away*
What does a Rubik's cube and a penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Mijn penis is lang lmao.
A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.
I think she was pulling my leg.
A few men have curved penises, but they can fix that problem by straightening it out.
What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
I have more cum in one testicle than you have in your whole penis.
What do you call useless skin on a penis?
A man.
My penis is so polite. It stands up so girls can sit down.
True Story
A CO was receiving inmates as they're being recalled from their assigned jobs to prepare for count. An inmate that had passed the officer returned bleeding through his trousers from his crotch. The inmate had an argument with his lover who had told him that he wasn't enough woman for him. As the inmate was bleeding he was crying out, "He doesn't love me anymore!"
The officer called for medical assistance and went into the assigned cell. He found the severed penis. He fished it out of the toilet and placed it in a plastic bag with ice. He claimed that the medical staff at the hospital could reattach it. He took a ribbing from his fellow officers, because most would've flushed it. I retired and months later saw a fellow officer at the store. As we caught up, I mentioned that the last incident I responded to was 'the severed penis.' The officer tells me that the inmate severed his penis again after it was reattached and flushed it himself.
"5 dollars if a fat guy can find his penis."
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.
My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"
So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."
I like penis in my bum!
Your dad has a huge PP.