Parent jokes

How did the orphan go to school?

Not by his parents.

What do Nemo and an orphan have in common? They can't find their parents.

Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!

Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?

What do orphans and dinosaurs have in common?

Their parents are extinct.

Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?

They are both invisible.

I take all my anger out on orphans. Why?

Because they have no parents to run to.

I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.

I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."

Kid #1: You're adopted.

Kid #2: At least they wanted me.

Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?

Toast is like parents.

If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.

Parents...

I was going to make a depressing joke, but my parents already did.

What's the second worst thing to happen to orphans?

They can't have sex.

"Why?"

Because they don't have anyone to call mommy or daddy.

You are so intelligent that parents come running to beg you to be their child!

What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?

"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."

If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.

Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”

“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”

If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan, what are they going to do, tell their parents!

Hahaha come on people, they don't have parents, we can do what we like with them...

Rape...hurt...and sell them!

"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"