Parent jokes
Dad: No, Timmy, you don't have to worry, there is no monster sleeping under your bed, it sleeps every night in the bed next to me.
What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?
I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.
So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?
If you have a bad day, go tell an orphan to find his parents. He will be searching all day.
Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.
If an orphan took a photo, what would it be considered?
Not a family photo.
Why don't orphans care if they get in trouble? They can't call their parents.
I walk up to a kid. I ask where his parents are, and he started crying. Then I walked out of the orphanage.
Maybe we should stop talking about orphans, their parents will get ma... oh wait.
Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.
Why do orphans love chips? They love the family-sized ones, too!
Why couldn’t the underage orphan get on an adult-only website? Because you need your parents' consent.
Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.
Why can't an orphan get a tattoo at a young age?
They don't have parent permission.
Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.
Why are adopted kids better than bio kids? Because their parents actually wanted them.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.
Why did the orphan take a selfie?
Because he wanted a family portrait.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.