Parent jokes

If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?

Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find their parents.

So when my parents say no to "isms," I say, "Can I be homophobic?"

Parents: Let's have a bonfire.

Me: Let's go to the orphanage.

Parents: To bring other children?

Me: No, to have the fire.

Parents: Won't they be missed?

Me: No, because there is nobody to miss them.

What's the difference between Kanye West and an orphan?

Kanye West has parents.

When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.

Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌

If Huggy and Kissy ever had a kid, they would have a good lunch. *evil laugh* 😈

Me: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?

Me: Where's your parents?

Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?

Me: Because it has a home button.

Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.

Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.

One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"

His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."

The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."

One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"

Dad: Uh, yeah!

Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!

Parents: Sex!

Son: What?

Parents: Look, you can spectate!

Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.

Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.

Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're parents left you."

How do Chinese parents name their children?

Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.

Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?

Orphan: *Sobs* "No."

God, I love working at an orphanage!

Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?

They never had parents to protect them from it.

What's a baby orphan's favorite joke?

"When am I gonna see my parents?"

Lmao.

Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.

Orphan: Mine are never.

What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"