Parent jokes

When I go to bed, my mother comes in ten minutes later with a brick and beats me with it.

Me: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?

Me: Where's your parents?

Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?

Me: Because it has a home button.

Wanna know something funny? Well, there was this one time when my parents were talking about their marriage.

Then after the wedding, they decided to make a joke, and then 9 months later, I was born. My birthday (4/1/06) April 1, 2006.

One day, Little Johnny needs to use the bathroom. His mom is in there, so he went in to use it and asked his mom, "What is that between your legs?"

His mom told him that is her bush. Then the next day the same thing happened, but with his dad. He asked his dad, "What is that between his legs?" He said, "My snake."

The same thing happened one more time, except with his grandmother. Little Johnny asked grandma what is on her chest. She said, "My headlights."

One night, Little Johnny caught his parents doing something naughty. Then he said, "Grandma, grandma, turn on your headlights! Daddy's snake is trying to get into mommy's bush!"

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "You're." "You're who?" "You're parents left you."

Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?

They never had parents to protect them from it.

What's a baby orphan's favorite joke?

"When am I gonna see my parents?"

Lmao.

Girl, come here, my parents aren't home.

Orphan: Mine are never.

How do Chinese parents name their children?

Dropping a pan down the stairs. Bing, Bong, Dong.

Me: (Jaiden) Why are you crying? Do you know where your parents are?

Orphan: *Sobs* "No."

God, I love working at an orphanage!

What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"

I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭

Best part about being an orphan?

Not spending 1h30 at the table every night with your dad yelling, "What's 2*3?!!" And you crying, "I don't know!!!"

Man: Oi, dude, why did you shoot the orphans!?

Other man: Because.

Man: Because why!?

Other man: Because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

Why can’t you yell at a kid?

Because the cops are after you.

A boi found a magic vase and a genie came out and told him he had one wish. The boy said, "I wanna be like Batman." The genie said, "OK, your wish is granted."

The boy came home later that day and his parents were dead.

Why do orphans not play sport?

Because they need parents' permission.

I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.

What's an orphan's favorite food? Nothing, they can't afford it.

Why did the orphan cross the ride?

I forgot.