Parent

Parent jokes

Orphanage

1 view ·

Tell your adopted kid you want to take them back home and tell them their original parents want them, and get them all excited, then take them to the orphanage and tell them their parents died.

Orphan

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Why can’t an orphan celebrate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day? Because they have no parents.

Toilet

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Parents: Why do you use your phone on the toilet?

Me: The same reason you read the newspaper on the toilet.

Liar

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I told my cousin since we're not blood-related our parents would let us date.

Her pants were on fire.

Teacher

40 views ·

My teacher asks all of us in class, "What is your favorite thing in the world?"

Josh: Cookies.

Jacob: My parents.

Erika: My Friends!

Brody: Lamborghinis.

Me: Pulling over in a car in the middle of nowhere at night with my girlfriend and getting in the back seat where the magic happens... ;-)

My Teacher: Ok, everyone that was all good...WAIT A DANG SECOND!

*Everyone Looks at Me With A Weird Face....

Truth

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Little Johnny was told by his friend that if you go to your parents and say: "I know the truth," they give you money.

So Little Johnny says to his mum, "I know the truth," so his mum hands him 20 dollars and tells him not to tell anyone. So when Little Johnny’s dad gets home, Little Johnny says, "I know the truth." His dad hands him $50 and says not to tell anyone. So Little Johnny tries it on the postman and says, "I know the truth," and the postman says, "Come here, son."

Orphan

20 views ·

Alright, so I have a few orphan jokes. I'm gonna put them all in one message.

Why can't orphans be gay? They have no one to call "daddy."

Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Parent signature: ______

New teacher: I used to be an orphan as a kid. Students: hahaha Teacher: Is anyone missing? Students: No one, just your parents.

Why did the orphan become a prostitute? They kept calling everyone "daddy."

Why do orphans have the iPhoneX? Because it has no home button.