Parent jokes
I've been looking for my parents for years.
For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.
Where are your parents? Oh, behind you? Not any more.
How does an orphan call his parents?
"..."
I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To try to find his parents, but it was FREAKING USELESS!
Why can an orphan not do school work?
Because they have to take their work home to their parents.
Teacher: Tim, where are your parents? It's been 15 minutes!
Tim (Orphan): Yeah um, they can't come.
Teacher: Why not?
Tim: They're too busy working in heaven.
Everyone makes mistakes. Just ask your parents.
What is the difference between a tall kid and an orphan? One is tall enough that their parents can see them.
Orphan: Help, I'm lost.
Someone: Wears your parents.
Orphan: >:(
Two kids told their parents they saw a man late at night entering their house on Christmas night.
The day later, they found out several houses were robbed.
How do you make a child’s parents happy?
Put the child to sleep.
What are two things orphans can’t have?
Parents.
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents can't watch them!
Orphan: I finally have a father!
God: And who is that?
Orphan: You!
God: Who the hell is you? Well, it's not me.
Orphan: :l
And to the parents of the lost boy named Timmy, we have found him, and now is your chance to make your escape. He really is a little shit, isn't he?
My sister is really disrespectful, and her famous words are, "You're not my parent!" The next time she says this, I'm going to respond back with, "You're right, because I would have worn a condom to protect from you being born unlike my dad did!"
I went up to an orphan and asked where their parents were--they stared.
Teacher: I was an orphan when I was younger.
Student: Oof.
Teacher: Is anyone not here?
Student: Yes, your parents.
What spooky creature has children?
Mummies.