Why did the Asian parents have an Asian baby?
Two wongs don't make a white.
So imagine bullying an orphan so bad they cry, and then you say, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because his parents couldn’t help him out!
Why did the cops come over?
Because parents had kids in their basement.
What do orphans do at parent teacher meetings?
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
Mom: Son, where are my condoms?
Son: What are condoms?
Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.
Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?
Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.
Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.
My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."
Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"
Today I saw my son lick out a tub of butter. I told him to make a sandwich without butter for a week (as a punishment). He said, "Okay," and licked the bread. "It's really easy to spread," he said. LOL!
Why was the orphan able to avoid getting into trouble at school?
Because they couldn’t call his parents!
My "parents" are so dumb. Who tf names their son "Lydia"?
An orphan was in 1st grade, and its teacher said to spell "parrot." The boy spelled "Parents."
Why are half of the orphans blind? Because they can't find their parents.
I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."
Why are orphans so scared of the dark?
The dad can't check the closet for them.
Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.
Student one orphan: I don't have any.
Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?
Student one orphan: What!
Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.
My Countryhumans OC, Sahara, is the daughter of France and Soviet. When people ask why, I tell them it was the gendersnapped version of my parents making me. France (my dad) was drunk and Soviet (my mom) was being horny. Then they judge me, so I judge them with a knife to the chest 47 times.
I was at the club and then my dad walked up and said, "You're 15, why are you high and at the club?" So I ran. Then my uncle was at the car and took me home, so I was grounded. Then my boyfriend came because my parents went out and we had sex and we were very loud. My dad came home and walked in. He had my boyfriend pin me against the wall so my dad could spank me.
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
