Parent jokes
Why do orphans love chips?
Because every bag of chips is family size.
The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."
The students said, "Oof, that is sad."
The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"
The students said, "Your parents."
The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
Why do orphans always get picked on? They can't run and tell their parents.
Orphan: What are you doing tonight?
Me: Your mum... oh wait, you don't have one.
Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?
Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?
Me: It's an autobiography.
Parents are like food—not all kids get them.
How did the blind boy's parents punish him?
Rearrange the furniture.
Why do an emo's parents not let them cook, because they are afraid they will cut themselves?
Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?
I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him, I feel disappointment.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Hey girl, are you an orphan?
Oh, that’s right, I’m your daddy.
If Huggy and Kissy ever had a kid, they would have a good lunch. *evil laugh* 😈
What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?
Nothing, they are both just memories.
What do the N and F in "orphan" stand for?
"No family."
A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
How does an orphan call his parents?
"..."
At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"