Parent jokes
Things to kids:
Dragapult: "Ooh, look! Some ammo."
A Good Parent: "My baby!"
Michael Jackson: (HeeHee)
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
Your hairline and your eyebrows are like your parents, separated.
Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!
Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!
Mom: ❓❓❓
I asked the orphan kid if his mom is hot. He just started crying.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents :) so kawaii fr.
What’s the difference between a child who is home alone and an orphan?
They’re both alone, but only one is home.
What do parents feeding their kids and terrorists have in common?
“Here comes the airplane!”
Me: I saw your parents yesterday.
Orphan girl: Where?
Me: The coffin was still open.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
So he can be hit by a car and be reunited with his parents.
Why do orphans like stealing things?
They wanted to have company.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them.
Why did the orphan like to jump? So they can jump off a bridge to be reunited with their parents.
1 like = 10 more orphans in my basement.
So I saw a bag full of children near a dumpster. I guess we know where the orphans are when the parents didn’t want them.
Wouldn’t want to hope a Catholic priest comes along, otherwise the priest will have new sex toys.
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
An orphan entered the high school for the first time. He has no knowledge of the school. He went to the secretary and asked where he shall go. The secretary then gave the orphan a schedule and said to the orphan, “Where is homeroom?” The secretary then asked which homeroom number he was assigned, and he said "1." The orphan then started to weep and said that his parents died right as he stole his first base in baseball.
1 like = 1 more child in my basement.
When you forget the pinata at the birthday party. The kids: "Aww man." But the emo kid just hung himself. Kids: "Yaaaaayyy." Parents: "Adjust, improvise, overcome, that is the way."
Today, I filmed an unboxing video at my friend's funeral.
His parents weren't too happy.