Parent jokes
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer.
Why can't orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
Fun fact: If you're an orphan, you probably don't know your parents.
That awkward moment you try to relate to Batman by killing your parents.
When you're mad, you might as well just punch an orphan because what can they do, tell their parents?
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."
Girl: Come over.
Orphan: I can’t.
Girl: My parents aren’t home ;)
Orphan: Just two things I don’t have.