Paper jokes
Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind, it's tear-able.
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
"Paper is 2D!" said Pen.
"No, it's 3D!" said Pencil.
After Pencil proved it to Pen, Pen said, "Oh, I suppose you're write."
Came across the headline this morning whilst reading the paper...
"Woman beats off Rapist in carpark!"
I suppose that was a fair compromise!
I bet emo girls get jealous when people cut paper.
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
This is a joke about Ms. Ploopatoink, a made-up character who is a pink fluffy pony who loves toilet paper.
Why is Ms. Ploopatoink like a toilet plunger?
They both jump in the toilet!
What's so funny about toilet paper? The toilet aspect!
I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
Throw a few paper airplanes at the twins in your class, see if they fall.
What kind of paper gets stuck to your foot?
DUH! A sticker.
Paper.
A girl was going through some really bad health issues at her house. It got so bad that she had to be rushed to the hospital.
Her husband found out about this after work and went to check on her. When he got there, the desk lady immediately pointed down the hall to a doctor. The guy walked up to the doctor, "Are you the one taking care of my wife?" The doctor glanced away from his papers, "Yes, that would be me, but I am afraid that she is in very bad condition. I have bad news and good news. The bad news is that she will have to be wheeled around in a wheelchair. Also, she can't eat normally. Taking care of her will become very hard. Basically, it will be like taking care of a big baby." Shocked, the guy says, "Wait, if that's the bad news, than what is the good news?" The doctor goes, "I'm just kidding with you, she died!"
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
Twin towers are like identical twins, and I threw a paper airplane.
I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.
I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note... it's a start...
Why did England beat Germany in World War Two?
Scissors beat paper.