Paper jokes

So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.

The toilet having an argument with the toilet paper, the owner of the house had diarrhea, who's day was more shittier!?

If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?

Hey, I asked for a paper, but I thought it was a cut, but it turns out it was tearable.

Toilet paper cried across the road.

I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.

A cop pulled me over and shouted, "Papers!" I shouted, "Scissors!" and drove off.

What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?

Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.

Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.

Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.

Do you know who invented paper?

Cai Lun!

“RIP” Cai Lun.

Paper.

Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!

My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.

Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!

Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.

I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.

So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"

Do you want to hear a paper joke?

Never mind, it is tearable.

Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.

Rock, paper, lesbians.

This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.

1. Pencils

2. Binders

3. Paper

4. Pencil sharpener.

What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?

Why did the zebra cross the road?

Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?

Because it's finger lickin' good!

Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?

So you're the one!