Do you know who invented paper?
Cai Lun!
“RIP” Cai Lun.
Paper.
Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.
So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"
Do you want to hear a paper joke., Nevermind it is tearable
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
Rock, paper, lesbians.
This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.
1. Pencils
2. Binders
3. Paper
4. Pencil sharpener.
What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
So you're the one!
Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.
So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.
Do you want to hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tear-able.
You know those paper families you cut out?
Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.
When I nailed the quiz, my teacher wasn't very happy. I wasn't either with all those paper cuts.
Oof.
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."
The blonde then taped the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
