Paper jokes

A cop pulled me over and shouted, "Papers!" I shouted, "Scissors!" and drove off.

What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?

Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.

Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.

Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.

Do you know who invented paper?

Cai Lun!

“RIP” Cai Lun.

Paper.

Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!

My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.

Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!

Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.

I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.

So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"

Do you want to hear a paper joke?

Never mind, it is tearable.

Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.

Rock, paper, lesbians.

This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.

1. Pencils

2. Binders

3. Paper

4. Pencil sharpener.

What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?

Why did the zebra cross the road?

Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?

Because it's finger lickin' good!

Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?

So you're the one!

Why does the disabled person scrunch his toilet paper up? Because that’s the way he rolls.

So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the roll, and then I said, "I guess that's why it's called ripping one!"

So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.

He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.

Women are like rolls of toilet paper. They are either really cheap or expensive, you use them a lot, and they deal with a lot of sh*t.

Do you want to hear a joke about paper?

Never mind, it's tear-able.

You know those paper families you cut out?

Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.