Pandemic

Pandemic jokes

Kobe

Covid said to stay 6 feet... I didn't think Kobe meant it literally.

Covid

My brother caught Covid last month.

First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"

I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

Feminism

The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.

Covid

When Covid spreads through food, but you realized you live in Africa.

Friend

What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.

Lightning

Everybody was kung flu dying.

It traveled as fast as lightning.

2020 was expert timing.

In fact, it was a little bit frightening.

Teeth

When did I realize COVID was serious?

When I saw your teeth social distancing.

Friend

A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."

I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

COVID-19

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

Covid

I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.

Crime

Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.

Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.

Covid

The CCP should be pleased. COVID is the longest thing to have ever been made in China.

Covid

What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?

I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.