Pandemic jokes
I got a great corona virus joke, but you wouldn’t get it.
Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris?
Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris.
Son: Thanks, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Quarantine.
What were the last words of your grandma in 2020?
"Oh, I think I forgot my mask!"
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Coronavirus walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Gimme a shot of whiskey, will ya?"
The bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve viruses here."
Corona replies, "Well, you're not a very good host."
The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
Your mom is SOO stupid, she was studying for a COVID test.
I am still trying to figure out why paying the COVID doctors a compliment is so offensive. They even kicked me out, and all I said was to stay positive...
Why is Joe Biden afraid of getting COVID?
Because he'd lose his sense of smell.
So you mom call she side when Covin come home?
I hate wearing a mask in public.
Why did the heterosexual man put a mask on his cock to protect himself from COVID? Silly boy.
COVID-19 won't last long... it's made in China.
I ain't shaking anyone's hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking anyone's hand because y'all out of toilet paper!
Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.
The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.
In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.
Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.
COVID is like fashion…
We started hearing about it in Italy…
Became popular in LA and NYC…
Florida ignored it…
And it was all made in China in the end.
"NORTH KOREA HAS ITS OWN NORTH KORONAVIRUS. IT STARTED THERE."