Pandemic jokes

Are you corona? Cuz it’s hard to breathe around you ;)

My brother caught Covid last month.

First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"

I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

Covid said to stay 6 feet... I didn't think Kobe meant it literally.

When Covid spreads through food, but you realized you live in Africa.

The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.

What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.

A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."

I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

Everybody was kung flu dying.

It traveled as fast as lightning.

2020 was expert timing.

In fact, it was a little bit frightening.

What if your Corona test is neutral?

When did I realize COVID was serious?

When I saw your teeth social distancing.

I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

You may be entitled to condensation.

If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?

I hate wearing a mask in public.

Snow White and the six Dwarfs, Sneezy was caught by covid-19 quarantine!

Crimes in 2018: assault, murder.

Crimes in 2020: coughing in public.

COVID is like fashion...

We started hearing about it in Italy...

Became popular in LA and NYC...

Florida ignored it...

And it was all made in China in the end.

What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?

I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.

Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.

Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.

Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.