Hey what is the difference between a painting and a wife?
Only the wife was hung up
What did the two paintings say after a long battle? Lets call this one a draw
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher said ok class whats behind my back she said its round and red and sally said ooh ooh its an apple and the teacher noo but i like where your going with this so now teacher said it is also used to make multipule things and sally said ooh ooh its a container of paint and the teacher said again noo but i like where your going with this and the teacher said its a ball of yarn as she pulled it out from behind her back then little johnny said ok my turn he said whats in my pocket its round and it has a head and the teacher said thats enough johnny now sit down and little johnny pulled the thing out of his pocket and said its a nickle but i like where your going with this
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car? Because he wanted people to say look at that S car go when he rolled by.
What is the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus? You’ll only need a single nail to hang the picture frame-up
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work
What Can Change Color and get beat up? You
I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
What did the house painter ask when he went to the abortion clinic? Where do you keep the cans of paint?
I painted my black ps5 white so the controller would run faster
What Kind of Hardware store can't orphans go into
Home Depot
What’s the difference between school and prison. One is painted
*True story* I saw his guy with a very bad hairline who was painting himself blue and it said smurf paint but I shouted MEGAMIND
How man babies does it take to paint a house, depends how hard you throw them
what do you call it when panera bread gets painted red
panera red
what did the floor say to the ceiling. i look up to you.
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck
What do Jesus and a painting have in common? They hang by nails
