A father and a son were painting pictures together, the son and father were drawing the exact same thing to a T and the son said "what happened to your hand?" looking at the scar tissue near the father's knuckle, the father replied with "you know what happened, you were there." the son continues to deny this until they both finish their paintings - they're exactly the same.
The father passes out for a few hours and wakes up to find that there's only one painting.
What’s the difference between school and prison. One is painted
What do Jesus and a painting have in common? They hang by nails
How do you confuse a blonde paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
How many dead babies dose it take to paint my room It depends how many bullets you have
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
What was oceangates biggest regret? Not painting Dylan Mulvaney on the side of the titan submarine for when it sunk like bud lights profits.
what do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common. They're both filled with happy little accidents............
Q, Why did the elephant paint his toenails red? A, To hide up cherry trees. Q, What's the loudest noise in the jungle? A, Giraffes eating cherries.
Ex Of Johnnys: I have a question. Johnny:What? Ex Of Johnnys: Am I pretty? Johnny: Yes ofc jesus mad everbody wonderfully! Ex: Awhh! Johnny: But who ever made you was painting tomas the train while making your face.
you are so white even nippon paint tried to sign you
What did the paintings name their daughter? Palette
ya make 10 paintings, you arent an artist ya make 20 meals, you arent a chef but when i kill ONE PERSON, im a "horrible person" and a "menace to society"
How do pedophiles get kids to suck there d**k? They spray paint it like candy 🍬
you're so fat you probably apply sunscreen with a paint roller
I feel bad for cumming on my turtle
Why the fuck would I do that. I should have never masturbated in front of my turtle. So basically I was watching porn in my 55 inch tv and my turtle was next to me in the couch. The porno was really old. It was a DVD from 2002. It was probably the hottest porn I have ever watch and honestly I'm probably going to watch porn on dvd instead from the internet. The only reason I had my turtle with me was because whenever I cum, I feel really depressed and lonely, so I thought that if my turtle watched with my I wouldn't feel lonely. Well I started stroking my willie, I used lotion, i took all my clothes off, but my dumbass forgot the tissues. I realized that I forgot to grab tissues but it was too late. I was going to cum. I didn't want to cum everywhere so I had to think fast. It was when I saw my turtle when I realized what I had to do. I came like a motherfucker. My turtle was painted with my cum in his tiny little face and all around his shell. He didn't say a word about it, he didn't move, he just stood there looking at me like I killed a bunch of children. I would never forgot the look my turtle gave me. His disappointing face broke my heart. I put on my clothes, I took my turtle to the bathroom and cleaned him off. What happened, happened. But my turtle would never forgot what happened. My turtle, Tommy, would never forgive me. Today, I passed by him and I know he still remembers what i did to him 3 hours ago. My only wish, is that one day, Tommy the turtle will forgive me for my horrible sins.
Even Bob Ross couldn’t paint a happy little accident like BLESSEDBRIAN
I pulled a prank on my friend the other day, i painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping, still had some extra space
how do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it! (me like fortnite)
Didja hear about that one guy who dipped his balls in paint? My friend said they were “Pretty nuts!”
