Outing jokes

Haven't had sex since I got out of jail; although sex in jail wasn't that great, either.

Me in the middle of the night boiling water.

Me talking to my brother: How do you make holy water?

My brother: How?

Me: You boil the hell out of it.

Fortnite battle pass, I just shit out my ass. The school: You did what?

Why did the orphan get kicked out of baseball?

They couldn't hit home base.

What's the best way to get an emo out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."

The Demon when it gets summoned to earth only to find out it was a spelling mistake in Latin class. 😬

What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet?

Gum.

Check out my new song. It’s called “Nlggas in the hood,” and it’s really good, so go listen.

I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.

So two dudes were at a bar and out of nowhere they hear, "Oi mate, talk to me like that again, I'm gonna shove this stick so far up your ass you'll look like a Popsicle."

What does Tiffany call Chucky when he is staring at her Barbie?

"Eye torture!"

If you are having sex and your feet are out of the tent, it doesn't count.

My sister: See you at home in about an hour.

Me: Okay.

My sister: Sister, where are you? *She looks out the window.*

Me: Sis, I'm here, can't you see me?

Sister: OMG, she's dead!

Me: Yeah, I know, but can't you see me?

Can you guys check out my joke, please?

Why can't orphans go on vacation?

The last time they did, they fell in the toilet and had no one to help them out. Ugh!

My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."

Out (DYM 75)

"What do you do with your free time?"

"I stalk."

"Really? I enjoy walks in the park, going to the movies, and hanging out with friends."

"I know."

What does your head come out of... your brain?