Little Jonny walks in on his parents having sex. He asks what their doing and the father says: "Well...We're making you a brother." So little Jonny runs off to let his parents finish, happy that he's going to have a brother soon. The next day when little Jonny's father comes come Jonny is crying out on the driveway. The father sits down next to Jonny and asks what's wrong. Jonny cries: "I won't have a baby brother!" HIs father is confused. "What do you mean?" He asks. "Because the mailman came by today and ate him!"
How do you make 7 an even number? Take the s out!
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
People judge me because im quiet
no one plans a massacre out loud
What is a reversed exorcism ? It's when it's the demon who's telling the priest to get out of the child's body </3
Johnny Depp, Michael Jackson, and Marilyn Manson all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Why don't you take a seat, right over there?" Turns out the bartender was Chris Hansen himself.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy?
Gang rape.
So I was going out the door and I see me dwarf neighbour at the bus stop, I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with fu.. off. So I zip up my backpack and keep going to work
When the depressed kid runs out of eyeliner So he says fruit ninja with his wrists
Boys: “Hey, can billy come out and play baseball?” Mom: “That’s not funny, you know billy doesn’t have any arms and legs” Boys: “I know, we need a third base”
What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?
I feel like a kid again.
Abortion, it really brings out the kid in you.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Just all us depressed people joking about our depressed lives, we should hang out sometime
I just found out I'm colorblind. It came out of the yellow.
My grandfather was there when the titanic sank..he shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they Finally kicked him out of the movie theater............haha
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. -- What a waste of thyme.
Do you know how to make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
Me: hey do you want to see my grandma. Friend: yeah sure Me: *pulls out gun*
