Otherness jokes

Police Officer

How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.

Difference

What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?

One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.

Soap

Guy and Girl are in the shower talking to each other.

Guy: Let's drop the soap.

Girl: Let's do it!

Cow

Holy cow!

A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, “Have you heard about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

Memes

Karate

I was doing some karate the other day at the studio.

They kicked me out because I was doing “kungi fui.”

Vegan

I had a party the other day. I made sure there were vegan options. They make do or fuck off.

Disguise

What did one detective say to the other detective?

"Disguise is lookin' suspicious."

Fence

Why did the first fence hate the other fence?

The second fence used some of-fensive language.

Dick

Friend: Do you know him?

Other Friend: Know who?

Friend: My dick!

Dog

Why did the dog cross the road?

It didn't. Got hit by a car on the way to the other side.

Muffin

There are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, “Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?”

The other muffin says, “AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!”

City

What did the lampost say to the other lampost?

Nothing, because it can't speak.

Sibling

A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

The other sibling said, "You are, too."

Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

And the sibling says, "We're twins."

The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

Chicken

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

Worst joke ever.