Otherness jokes
Zaine Davis and Stephen Hawking fuck each others brains out.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One smashes open when you hit it with a sledgehammer, and the other is a watermelon.
Why can't Americans trade with other countries? We lost the trading center!
A black man walked into a bar. Another guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.
A 60 year old man said his wife called him a paedophile the other day, strong words for a 6 year old.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
My friend surprised me for my birthday with a book called ‘Road-Kill Recipes’. I did find some roadkill the other day, so I cooked it according to one recipe and it was delicious. I’m just not sure what I should do with the bicycle.
Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?
Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.
What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”
A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"
The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
There was a fancy dress party; the theme was emotions.
One guy came dressed in green, and he was envy; another person came dressed in red, and she was anger; another guy came dressed in blue, and he was sadness. Two Indians came, one came with a hole in a pear and his d*** was in the pear, said he was deep in dis"pear." The other Indian came with his d*** in custard, and he said he was f***ing dicustard!
An American, a Cuban, a Russian, and a lawyer are sitting on a subway train, in the same seat. The Cuban pulls out a Cuban cigar for each person, and hands it out. The Cuban takes one puff of his cigar, and he throws it out the window. Everybody but the Cuban goes mad. "You just wasted an expensive Cuban cigar! How could you?" The Cuban simply says, "See, in Cuba, cigars are very cheap."
The other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Oh, OK."
The Russian takes out a small bottle of Russian vodka and pours a shot for all the passengers. The Russian downs his shot, and throws the vodka bottle out the window. The rest of the passengers are alarmed, once again. "You just destroyed an expensive bottle of Russian vodka! How could you?" The Russian simply states, "See, in Russia, vodka is very cheap." Yet again, the other passengers are reassured and respond with, "Ah, yes! Of course."
The American scratches his head and goes, "I think I see the pattern here." So he takes the lawyer, and he throws him out the window!
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman... no other reasons besides that.
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
"I think I feel a connection!"
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."