Other one jokes

Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"

Two hats are next to each other. One hat says to the other, "Stay here, I'll go on ahead."

What’s the difference between an orphan and a watermelon? One of them is fun to hit with a sledge hammer and the other one is just a watermelon.

What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?

One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.

Two nuns were sitting on a bench. A flasher flashed them, and one of the nuns had a stroke... but the other one was too far away :)

Two men are next to each other. One looks at the other and asks, "Are you a fascist?"

The other man responds, "No, why would I be?"

The first man pulls out a gun and says, "Are you sure?"

The second man says, "Never mind, I am a fascist!"

I just had a birthday party last week at my crib. I invited two fine, beautiful looking women. One was skinny and her name was Kelly, and the other one was overweight and her name was Chiquita.

Both of them came by. I told Chiquita only Kelly can stay and enjoy my birthday. You can't, you're too fat and clumsy, and I don't have any food or drinks for you, so see ya later, nutty professor.

This one butt cheek said to the other one, "It's really personal, but it's okay, I'll tell you." It said, "Hey, let's go to my crib so we can smoke a little joint, watch a movie, and go upstairs in the room and get down."

What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.

What is the difference between a feminist and a gorilla? One of them is fat and hairy, while the other one has a functional brain (the gorilla, of course).

Once, there were two cupcakes in the furnace. One cupcake said, "It's kinda hot in here." The other one said, "Hah, a talking cupcake!"

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.

There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.

The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"

Two men are walking down the street and see a dog licking its balls. One man says, "I wish I could do that." The other one says, "You can probably just pet him."

What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!

Two muffins are in an oven.

One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"

The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"

Two boys were at a lake, and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady.

One ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran. The boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone. I ran away because I felt something get hard."

Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.

Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.

Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.

Two cows were hiding.

One said: "Moooo."

The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.