My mom is a chemistry teacher.
Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.
Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!
I'm a family doctor and I wish I could help but... you're an orphan.
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
There was this intern that worked at an orphanage, and she burnt it down. Luckily, she doesn't have to tell her parents.
How is an orphan like a boomerang?
They always come back!
I wish I could kill my family, but you realize you're an orphan.
What phone do orphans have?
An iPhone 10R.
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
What did one orphan say to another? Where's your home?
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
Why do I only date orphans?
Because they never have daddy issues.
There is an upside to being an orphan. Every bag of chips is family size.
What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.
Q: Why is it fun to hit an orphan?
A: Who are they going to tell, their parents?
Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.
Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson? Cause it's a family company.
Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.
Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"
Genie: "Wish granted!"
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.
