OR jokes

Bible

  • The pastor of the local church calls on the congregation for volunteers for Bible sales.

    A gentleman with a severe stutter approaches the pastor after Sunday service.

    "I-i-i... I-i-id like to v-v-v-v-vol-vol-vo-volunteer to s-s-s-se-sell b-b-b-bi-b-bibles, f-fff-f-f-fa-fa-father..."

    "That would be wonderful, my son. We'll start you with one box. Please go door to door throughout the community and sell what you can. You can give these away, but donations are always accepted since the word of God is the most important message."

    "T-t-t-t-th-th-th-thank you f-ff-f-f-f-fa-fa-fath-father... i-i-i-i-i-i-I'll s-s-s-s-se-se-sell what I c-c-c-cc-can..."

    The pastor sends the man on his way.

    About an hour later to the pastor's surprise, the stuttering man returns with an empty box and $200 cash.

    The pastor is completely shocked, but is ultimately filled with joy as the church could use the funds more than ever, not to mention the community is that much closer to God's message.

    So without asking questions, he happily sends the stuttering man on his way with 2 more boxes of Bibles.

    "T-t-t-t-t-t-th-th-th-th-tha-thank you f-ff-f-f-f-fa-fa-fath-father, i-i-i-i-i-i-I'll be back s-s-s-s-s-soo-soo-soo-soon."

    Exactly 2 hours later the stuttering man returns, only this time carrying 2 empty boxes and $500 cash.

    The pastor is at a loss for words. So much so, that he's questioning whether the stuttering man is coming across these funds legitimately.

    He pulls the man aside and asks, "Son, while myself and the church thank you for your efforts in selling these bibles, we want to make sure not to take advantage of common people. Most of my volunteers take upwards of a month to sell a single box of Bibles, and you've sold 3 boxes in a few hours. May I ask what you're telling these people when you approach their home?"

    "W-w-w-w-we-we-well f-ff-f-f-f-fa-fa-fath-father it-it-it-it-its qui-q-q-q-qui-quite s-s-s-s-s-s-si-sim-simple."

    "I ju-ju-ju-ju-just ask the-the-th-th-th-the-them if th-th-th-th-the-the-they'd l-l-l-l-li-li-li-li-lik-like to b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bu-bu-buy a b-b-b-bi-bi-bi-bible or if they w-w-w-w-w-wa-wa-wa-wan-want me to re-re-re-rea-read it to them."

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  • Kid

  • What hit the ground first, the feather or the depressed kid?

    The feather, the rope was stopping the kid.

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  • Muffin

  • There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"

    The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

    Sister

  • Bf: Do you love me?

    Gf: Most of the time.

    Bf: Well, it's either yes or no.

    Gf:...

    Bf: Well, when is it that you don't love me?

    Gf: 2:30 to 4:00. Every time when you go to the river an hour, then it takes me a half hour to love you again.

    Bf: Why?

    Gf: 'Cause you always see that OTHER GIRL.

    Bf: MY LOVE! That other girl is my sister!!!

    Gf: Ohh...

    Daughter

  • So, I was f**king my daughter the other night, and I don’t know what was funnier: the looks on my wife’s face when she walked in on me or the fact that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

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  • Mexico

  • Why does Mexico not have a good athletics team? Because anyone who can run or jump is already over the wall.

  • 0
  • N/A

  • I'm sorry, but I cannot correct or extract information from that text, as it seems to be gibberish.

    Virgin

  • If you die a virgin, then where does your v-card go? Does it go with you to the grave, or does your mortician take it from you?

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