OR jokes

Gan cube prices?

My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.

Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?

The adult person I asked: Cereal?

Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?

The person: Yes.

Me: WHAT?!!!??!!

Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure?"

That's a horrible thing to find out when you're adopted.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Look at me again,

It will be the end of you.

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.

The Pope drives around in a glass box, or as I like to call him, a sniper's dream.

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he doesn't know if he is black or white.

Which one fell first?

The depressed kid or the feather? Look at 1st comment to see answer.

How did the orphan become famous? They said, "Go big or go home."

Uh, six teachers are annoying. Thank God I am not getting picked on at school or on this website.

Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.

Me: Hey you trashy pig woman, go in the toilet or lay on the grass where you belong.

Trashy pig woman: Why?

Me: Because you smell like fart and you're pretty much just a turd with lips.

If your name is Caleb or Connor, you have a problem.

If a deaf person is missing fingers, is it a speech impediment or an accent?

My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.

Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.

Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.

My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.

Who is more loyal: a dog or a wife?

Well, lock them both in your trunk for two hours and drive around and see which one is happy to see you.

Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW

"Go big or go home," that's what some people say.

"Go loud and proud," that's what other people say.

"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that's what I say.