OR jokes
I have two things I wanna say:
1. When people swear, stop taking it so fucking literally. If someone calls you a bitch, they're not calling you a female dog. If they call you a cunt, they're not calling you a woman's private part, they are calling you either an idiot, scaredy cat/baby, or something along those lines, ffs.
2. wtf
Jesus has died on the cross to take away our sins. He has all power, but he won’t abuse it. He will help us through tough times. Have you ever felt that feeling in you that something is a bad idea? That’s Jesus. He is the savior and never let anyone say different.
Our Lord will watch us. We will go to Heaven, the promised land, only as long as we believe he’s real and always here. Don’t let anyone speak less and make you disbelieve in our Lord. This is your choice: believe and go to Heaven, or don’t believe and go to Hell, an eternal death. Make a choice.
"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.
Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
They say if Viagra lasts more than four hours, call the doctor? I’m just wondering, it’s been six hours and I’m still hard, should I call the doctor or hop on another woman?
Memes
Who would you choose?
Orphans have 362 days in a year because they don’t have a Mother’s or Father’s Day and no birthday.
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
Is it just me, or do these gays need to leave me alone?
"Ethan is gay," you say that, but first, who asked? And second, where's your mum at? Correction, where's your family, so how dare you? Now in the comments say sorry, or I'm coming for you! 😡😡😜😝
Which one gets bullied the most, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
Which of these is the smartest; also, list them too: Is it autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
Who gets more dick, straight male rap fans or straight male swifties? Answer: Straight male rap fans, because there’s no such thing as a straight male swiftie.
Teacher on school bus, "Everybody sit down now, the bus is about to start."
Ben: "I’m not going to sit down. I don’t want to."
Teacher: "You have to, or else you have to get off the bus."
Teacher: "*stands up*"
Ben: "Then you should get off the bus 'cause you're not sitting."
Pussies and tits have one thing in common: they're both made for kids, but men end up licking or suckling them.
What would you rather be, emo or handicapped?
Trick question, emo is a handicap.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"
College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.
Who will hit the ground first, the girl or the apple?
I don't know, it depends if the girl is emo or not. If she is emo, the rope will catch her.
When I got to you and I was android and we were all in Minecraft for the last two years and we had the same problem UI with you anymore but you can see it on Instagram that it is not a real time thing or a android.