OR jokes
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad or mom never came home with the milk.
Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?
They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.
If a midget does meth, does he get high or get medium?
We split because she would always say I never listen, or something like that.
Why did the chicken cro-
UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓
So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.
It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.
Why are there only 363 days in an orphaned year?
Because they don’t have a father's or Mother’s Day.
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!
Where does a French cat live?
- In Purr-is
OR
- In the Catacombs
OR
- In a chat-eau.
Why do orphans play with other kids on a playground?
So they will sneak into their parents' car to be a brother or sister.
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
How does a kid with no arms or legs like a video on YouTube when they say smash the like button?
They literally smash the like button "uuuuuugghghhhgBANG!"
How do you rape someone? By forcing them to do it with you! Please comment! Bad or good! :)
This picture is for bras! Comment or not and go to each one and comment! And go!
Why is the oldest iPhone an orphan?
It can't get the iPhone XI or XR. It doesn't have a home button.
Violets are blue, or green, so is your face so ugly, too.
Where did Stephen Hawking go when he broke his leg?
Hospital or Currys PC World?
Three rednecks, Billy, Joe, and John, are talking about their hobbies. They agree on shooting. John says, "I like shooting animals." Joe says, "I like shooting birds." Billy says, "I like shooting cans." Joe and John ask, "What kind of cans, like bear cans, Pepsi cans, or cola cans?" Billy responds, "Africans, Mexicans, Jamaicans, and Asian Americans."
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.