Opinion jokes

My favorite joke: My life.

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil's advocado.

what's the difference between a feminist and a knife?

one has a point.

My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.

Sodomising a physically challenged homophobic heterosexual white male is better than the smallest act of kindness.

My name is Ethan, and I don't find this funny.

1. You're so dumb, you think Cheerios are donut seeds!

2. You're so fat, you could sell shade!

3. You're just like coconut water, nobody likes you!

4. Have you been shopping lately? Because they're selling lives around the corner, you should go get one!

If being ugly was a crime, you would get a life sentence!!

Are these good?

All of the people disliking this category are probably emo.

Two terrorists walk into a bar.

The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."

The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"

Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."

I’m not calling you a slut, I’m calling you a penny.

Two-faced, worthless, and in everyone’s pants!

My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.

I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.

Hey guys, how was your day?

If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.

Wife: Aww, thanks.

Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.

Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"

The terrorists both say, "A beer."

The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"

One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"

Don't go to ghostposter.com. The person or persons who run that site are a fucking bunch if dumb fucking cunts who can suck my big cock.

The people in the Democratic Party are how I like my coffee.

Black and bitter.

You know I'm not too into black girls, but Kobe's daughter was smoking!

Why is falone mentally disabled?

Who knows, and quite frankly, who cares?

So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"

Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."

Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."