One jokes
When you're going 80 km in a school zone and one of the speed bumps screams.
"Lizzie Borden took an axe. And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one."
Yo mama so fat, she is one of the boulders in Indiana Jones.
"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.
What did one butthole say to the other?
"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"
When I see your face, there's one thing I want to change.
The direction I'm looking.
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
In India, 3 things are wide and far everywhere, but no one admits: racism, sexism, and Sunny's jism.
Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
What's the difference between twin towers and McDonald's?
One had a drive thru and the other had a fly thru.
How are Tinder and orphans alike?
You swipe left till you find the one you like.
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
What does a carpenter do after a one night stand?
The second nightstand.
I was hunting at night for deer, and then I found one and shot it. I realized the deer I shot was actually my ex...
What's the difference between a hoe and a sidechick? The hoe want different meals, the sidechick always gone be that one crumb on the side of the plate for debate 💯.
You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.
Two blondes walk into a bar. I thought one of them would have seen it.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"