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One jokes

Is it possible for an orphan to go on an away trip?

No, because they already are on one.

In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school class were asked to set down their favorite biblical truths.

One youngster laboriously printed: “Do one to others as others do one to you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post

One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.

Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.

Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"

I bought a sweater and it started building up static electricity.

So I got another one free of charge.

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."

Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"

This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.

Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.

People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.

He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.

What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. But donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. Geez!

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.

There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.

How many beans are there in Irish chili?

Answer: 239

Why are there two hundred and thirty-nine?

Answer: (spoken in Irish Brogues) Because if you add one more, it'd be "two farty."

Two cyclists stop on a bridge. One cyclist says to the other, "Can you see that forest over there?"

The other says, "No, the trees are in the way."

You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?

The second one never lands as good as the first one.