One day at school little Jhonny was not listening so the teacher came up to him teacher: at the end of this ruler is someone dumb ,little Jhonny: miss which end where you referring to?
so there is someone who doesn't know what an armadilo is. He then sees one. he askes it a question. "What are you?" the armadilo replies, "Armadilo." the person says: "What's a dilo?"
But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger, with that, no one will suspect you!
A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine year old son in the closet. One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy asks. “No thanks,” the man replies. “I think you do want to buy a baseball,” the little extortionist continues. “OK. How much?” the man replies, after considering the position he was in. “Twenty-five dollars,” the little boy replies. “TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!” the man repeats. “That’s awful expensive”, but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price. The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway, and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy. “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” the boy starts off. “Yes it is,” replies the man. “Wanna buy a baseball glove?” the little boy asks. “OK. How much?” the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage. “Fifty dollars,” the boy replies, and the transaction is completed. The next weekend, the little boy’s father says, “Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we’ll play some catch.” “I can’t. I sold them,” replies the little boy. “How much did you get for them?” asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy. “Seventy-five dollars,” the little boy says. "SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That’s thievery! I’m taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness,"the father explains as he hauls the child away. At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Don’t you start that crap in here,” the priest says
what happens when theres ten people innone house and they all have to shit and theres one bathroom?
its a motherfucking shitz party
We need to stop with all the discrimination here! I don’t discriminate! I love all races, even the bad ones, I’m a fan of all genders, even the fake ones, and am a fan of all nationalities, even the alien kinds.
There was a person inside, who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid so they put in people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor, and the 94th floor, literally.
My sister said she was as fat as a coconut so I threw one at her and she was right
Son why do i not have an Easter basket. Mom ur 23 u don't need one. Ends calls child support
So your in a hospital you barely survive your suicide attempt you see one of the scalpels you finish the job
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote", one of my best friends would still be alive
Do you know the phrase "One man's trash is another man's treasure"? Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
A dog walked into a tavern and said, "I can't see a thing. I'll open this one." The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest
A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile
Gather 6 friends to play Russian roulette and one's mind will be blown away.
Why don’t violists play hide and seek? Because no one will look for them.
Have you seen the justin meme?
Yeah, the ones that cracked at fortnite?
Just-in time for deez nuts
Bruh
But actually, it's a parody
Wait actually?
Parodiesnuts (pair of deez nuts).
Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
There was a house with three storey building 🏢 First one had Mexicans Second one had Africans Third one had white people Earthquake came But who did survive? 🤔 The white family Cause they were at work
