One jokes
A man shot into a crowd at the train station and didn't hit one person. When the police asked why he missed, someone said, "'Cause he gay."
He couldn't shoot straight.
What did one chair say to the other?
"I'm so bummed out!"
I don't know, I don't have one.
I heard guns kill people, so I gave up my right to own one.
Then I heard dicks rape people, so I chopped it off.
So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?
Why is the Pentagon mad?
Because it didn't get two pizzas, but only one plane pizza.
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
"If you yeet one thing that has been yoted, the yeet gods will help you" - Chris Tyson, MrBeast's friend, and your mom >:)
I cannot believe no one's come up with a cure for anorexia yet. I thought it would be a piece of cake!
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
Jo mama so fat that when aliens invaded earth, they said, "Wow, two in one!"
So one time I had a dream where I was on a road trip and we drove a golf cart and a Susan, which I don’t know why the heck the name of the car was called a Susan.
We went into this house and there was like a woman there and we went into this bathroom which looked like a public bathroom, which was so weird!
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.
One day, the fat kid came up to me and asked me, "What's cracking?" The floorboards, you idiot. You're causing a 9.7 Richter scale earthquake and asking ME what's cracking. It would be best if you looked down for a second.
I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.
One day I seen a little boy walking in the grocery store, so I asked if he was okay, and he said yes. I asked where his parents were, and he said his mom died years ago and his dad is stuck in the milk aisle.
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
One day, I was walking through a park when I realized it was crowded.
To this day, I still don't know who let the children out of my basement.