Olympics jokes

What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...

Michael Phelps can finish a race.

I have a friend of mine from school. I always see them with bangs, so I never knew what their forehead looked like until one day they came... Their forehead was bigger than Mount Everest, that you can make an entire Olympics mountain climbing audition on that forehead! :)

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

Like a lot of people watching the Olympics, I'm wondering why black people don't just take over the earth.

What did Amtrak say at the Olympics?

I AM keeping Trak!

Why do Americans always win at the shooting Olympics?

Because they train at the best school.

If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.

Husband: "Honey, I just bought these special Olympic-style condoms!"

Wife: "Olympic-style condoms? What makes them so special?"

Husband: "They come in three colors: gold, silver, and bronze."

Wife: "Ooh, sweet. What color are you going to wear tonight?"

Husband: "Gold, of course!"

Wife: "Why don't you wear silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change."

What do you call a bunch of biracial, retarded kids? The Special Olympics.

What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.

What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.