OH jokes
Why are orphans sad?
Don't ask, or their parents may... oh wait, carry on.
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."
"Oh I forgot a dance 🕺 😅 joke is good ok for kids."
If I make fun of orphans, they will cry to their parents.
Oh wait...
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
Stop it! What if a blind person sa- oh wait, never mind, carry on.
Guys, stop telling orphan jokes, soon they're gonna tell they're par... oh wait, never mind, carry on.
doctor: you need to eat healthy.
me: no.
doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after I suggested it died.
me: oh my goodness.
doctor: in a plane crash.
me: that sounds unrelated.
doctor: I'm the one that crashed it. Do not disobey me!
Your mom is so ugly, you look like her. Oh, got 'em!
Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!
It’s a bird.
It’s a plane.
Oh, shit it is a plane!
Ur mum—oh wait, you don't have that.
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh, honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" The sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey guys, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
"Oh, hey, do you know I saw a guy with dementia?"
Someone: "I got chickens out there vibin'."
Me: "What? Oh, you mean those over-sized chickens that just show an example of you in real life?"
Someone: . . .
Me before: Why do bandanas exist? They're ugly.
Me after seeing your hairline: Oh, I seeee.
Me giving pro tip: Get a bandana LMAO.
We should give whoever killed Hitler a statue. Oh wait, never mind.
My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad, oh my god!
Doctor: I have bad news.
Man: What?
Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer.
Man: Oh, no...
Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's.
Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!