Ocean

Ocean Jokes

Osama Bin Laden

What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?

Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.

Fish

Why did the fish cross the sea?

To get to the other tide! πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚ πŸ˜‚

Fish

Why are fish easy to measure?

Because they bring their own scales.

Yo mama

yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"

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  • Sandwich

    What would you find on a haunted beach?

    A sand-witch!

    "Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"

    Plastic

    What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?

    They both have plastic in them.

    Shaq

    If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.

    Girl

    So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."

    Tea

    Americans when they think they have the best offensive British jokes: "we threw your tea in the ocean." πŸ’€

    British people making offensive jokes about America: "our towers didn’t explode."😎

    Mermaid

    A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

    As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

    Guy

    What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.

    What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.

    What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.