Ocean jokes

How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.

Why did the fish cross the sea?

To get to the other tide! 😂 😂 😂

Why are fish easy to measure?

Because they bring their own scales.

yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"

What would you find on a haunted beach?

A sand-witch!

"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"

I wonder if the Titanic still sells fish?

What is a dry swimmer?

Not in the water...

Did you know the Titanic swimming pool is still full?

If Shaq had a boat, he would name it "Freethrow," because he would never sink it.

So, there was this girl on the street that had no arms or legs, that said "Hey sir, I've never been fucked before, will you do the honors and fuck me?" So, I threw her in the ocean and said "Well, your fucked now."

Why is the sea salty?

Because the land never waves back.

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.

As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"

What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?

Octopied.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? Matt.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? Bob.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.

What part of the Earth does Helen Keller not have?

The sea.

Smash or pass?

"Smash," said the iceberg.

TItanic:...

My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."

Are you a pirate? Because I have a lot of seamen waiting for you 😉

If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.

Article 1: the Titanic is practically unsinkable.

Article 4: the Titanic sank.