Occupation jokes
What is the postman's favorite fruit?
Water-mail-on.
Do you know the teacher that went up into space?
You know what her husband said to her? "I will feed the dog; you feed the fish."
Why did the rapper become a locksmith?
Because he always had the KEYS!
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some ROOT RHYMES.
Did you hear about the nurse who couldn’t swim?
She ended up under the doc[tor].
Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field. Okay, I'll admit it's corny.
Bob the builder.
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
You wanna hear a construction joke?
I'm still workin' on it!
What do you call a nerd in space?
A space nerd.
Your dad must be a mailman.
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some FRESH SEEDS.
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
What did the farmer who lost his tractor say?
*waits 25 seconds*
"I lost my tractor!"
What does the drummer call his twins? Anna 1, Anna 2.
The best part about being a medical student is, you will never run out of jokes.
Why are the people that get your order at restaurants called waiters? They don't wait for the food; we wait for the food. They should be called "note takers." They take notes for food.
What do you call a cowboy with Down syndrome? A whipped potato.
What do you call a rapper who's also a pirate?
Captain Rhyme.
What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Thumb nails.