what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes
openheimer
If I smiled one centimeter each time I watched someone I hated die, I'd look like the cheshire cat.
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say "OH! That wasn't an dog."
What do you call a dinosaur with good eyesight............do you think he saw us
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The colour orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'seperate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, its a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
is it just me or your the prettiest person I seen today
a telescope has two uses: 1. to look in space 2. to see your hairline
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them, I can also tell if they are standing.
Did anyone ever noticed that " STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying.
One day, little Johnny was playing with his toys and looked out the window. He saw the neighbor's kid laying face-first in the grass. Not breathing. Little Johnny continued to shoot his nerf gun at the neighbor's big booty cheeks. No movement at all. After little johnny went to get a snack, he looked out the window again and the kid was gone. Little Johnny went to the neighbors and said, "I'm sorry to hear that your child has gone missing."
Mom:they say our kid neighbor has a blue blood Son:really? Also 2 hour later Son:mom the kid doesnt have a blue blood Mom:son i-
Sorry for my bad english U-U
There’s something on your chin no the third one down
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.
My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.
They say we have a primal sense, that we can just feel when someone is watching us
It’s been a few weeks, and its clear that you do not have that sense
i saw a man. I saw another man. And I saw another. Where am I? Comment below
i saw two really tall guys i walked up and said "i didn't know we still have the twin towers"
When you realize your friend is standing next to you is adopted and narrates everything he does
I saw a orphan on the road I asked him if he's a ophorn the kid says ye what gave it away
I say your parents
Fineman, Einstein and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says "it appears we're inside a joke".
Einstein says "but only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously".
To which Schrodinger says "if someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving".
