Observation jokes

A patient walked into a psychiatrist's office last week wrapped in nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see your nuts."

I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.

What does it mean if you can remember a girl's eye color?

She had small tits.

Yo bro, look at this twig I found on the floor. Wait...

"Captain, captain, the armadillo has been sighted by the lizard!"

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching." Further down the line is a pile of cookies. A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Stephen Hawking is better than NASA. They study black holes that are 8 billion years old, while he was down here on Earth staring at 14-year-old black holes. 😈😈😈

Yo hairline is so long, when you looked in a mirror you saw an entire endangered species.

Your hairline goes so far back you can see a full world scale map in your forehead reflection.

what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?

Oppenheimer

I saw a sign that said “Watch for children” and I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”

Yo hairline so far back that you need a magnifying glass to see it.

In the heart of a circular, creamy delight, there exists a void, a singular absence that adds to its charm. This hollow space, a perfect round, is a testament to the artistry of nature and man's culinary skills.

The hole, a silent observer, bears witness to the transformation of the substance around it, from a liquid state to a firm, yet supple form. It's a silent testament to the passage of time, a symbol of patience and the magic of fermentation.

The void, despite its emptiness, contributes to the overall aesthetic, making the slice a visual treat. It's a playful peek-a-boo with the world beyond, a window that adds mystery and intrigue.

In the end, the hole is not just a void, but a character in the story of this culinary masterpiece, a silent protagonist that adds depth and character to the narrative. It's a testament to the beauty of imperfection, a celebration of the unique and the unconventional.

Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?

Mum: See the four birds over there?

Kid: Huh, wait a minute.

Mum: A drunk person would see eight.

Kid: Mum, but there is only two.

I saw two really tall guys. I walked up and said, "I didn't know we still have the Twin Towers!"

No one has the right to look down on others unless you're perfect, and looking down on others is not perfect either.

It's just true.

Are your forehead and hairline old friends because they go way back?

Yo mama so fat you can see her from 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 galaxies away!

There's something on your chin, no, the third one down.

I C U P works on 88% of people.