Nut

Nut Jokes

Account

Account for me too, babyπŸ‘§! Is so cute together with game slot jokes.

Man

What do you call physically handicapped, homophobic, heterosexual men and women in wheelchairs?

Mixed nuts.

Peanut

So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

Man

This man came up to me and asked if I could sell my house to him, and I said sure. Then five days later, he said that the loan should come in the mailbox. Then I checked the mailbox, and the only thing I saw was nothing, so I told the guy, "DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH!"

Almond

I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that’s just nuts.

Mama

Who is Joe?

You reply back: Who is Candice?

They reply back: Who is Candice?

You say: "Candice nuts fit into Joe Mama's mouth."

Girl

A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"

Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"

Hooker

What can happen if you bring a hooker into a stranger's house? He will ask you, "Really, are you nuts?"

Kick

What will happen if someone kicks you right in the balls?

You will be like, "Ow, my nuts!"

Doctor

I asked my doctor if it was normal for one of my nuts to be bigger than the other two.

Dwarf

Why does a very tall man allow dwarfs to take turns to suck his balls?

Because he is nuts about them!

Aid

What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?

Nut in the butt.