Numbers jokes

Why is 9 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.

Why was the number 10 scared? Because bro was stuck between 9/11.

Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.

What goes up but never past the digits 15?

A Make-A-Wish kid...

What do squats eat? Numbers.

I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.

How did number 1 kindly make number 2?

I got my ass kicked, let's be friends?

What kind of number hates nuts?

17.

Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...

I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.

Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.

Flip 1134 over on a calculator.

Happy holidays!

Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?

Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."

What's 72?

69 with 3 people watching.

Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.

Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.

Why was the rapper so good at math?

Because he could count his bars.

I hope when you count, you lose the number you were on.

Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.

Turn the number 543354 upside down to see "sheesh."

Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.