Numbers jokes

America's police phone number is 911 because that is the day they lost everything.

Why did 10 have trauma?

Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.

A lot of things have changed since I got my girlfriend pregnant.

My name, my address, and my phone number.

How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?

Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.

Me, a Chinese woman, and her BFF walked into a bar. I asked the Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!”

Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”

Wait, 911 is the American emergency number...

Age is just a number.

Police are just people.

Jail is just a room.

Momma's House-By-watersharky Productions and Dustin Lynch- I see your face on every street, every corner, couple trees. Even got her name on 'em. I feel your love, I hear your laugh, got them take me way on back. Hurt me memories, I don't want 'em. Up and down the boulevard. In and out of every bar. I'd burn this whole town down. Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground. Baby, I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that? Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass. I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. I would start it where we started, at the downtown party Where you kissed my lips and stole my beer. The city park in the dark where we looked up at the stars Watched them fireworks pop last year. It started under that Texaco sign where you said goodbye I'd get some gas and drop a match right there. I'd burn this whole town down. Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground. Baby, I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that? Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass. I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Fire red flames, sunsets in the sky Going out, staying in, staying up long nights. Now I'm waking up alone, wishing I could move on Blocked your number in my phone, thought it help but it don't. I'd burn this whole town down. Pick a spot, dig a hole, put them ashes in the ground. Baby, I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house. Damn girl, why'd you have to break it like that? Leaving pieces of my shattered heart scattered like glass. I'd burn this whole town down. If it wasn't for my momma's house, my momma's house.

I like my clocks like I like people.

Under 12.

Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't get even.

Why is 10 so sad? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.

"What is your number?" "Hi."

Trust your calculator. It's something to count on.

Hey, math:

I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!

What did the kid say to the toilet?

"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"

Why did the oxygen molecules walk out of the singles bar with excitement?

Because she got Avogadro's number!

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"