Numbers jokes
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
What do squats eat? Numbers.
Why is 9 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.
Why was the number 10 scared? Because bro was stuck between 9/11.
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
Hey, math:
I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!
So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.
How did number 1 kindly make number 2?
I got my ass kicked, let's be friends?
What kind of number hates nuts?
17.
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
What's 72?
69 with 3 people watching.
What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could count his bars.
Why was number 10 scared?
It was surrounded by 9/11.
Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.