Numbers jokes
Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
Why was the number 10 scared? Because bro was stuck between 9/11.
Why is 9 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9.
Depressed should be spelled "depraseed" because then they would be 1, 2, 5, 9.
Hey, math:
I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!
I tried to calculate 3/(my life), and I kept getting zero.
What do squats eat? Numbers.
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
How did number 1 kindly make number 2?
I got my ass kicked, let's be friends?
What kind of number hates nuts?
17.
Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...
I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.
Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.
Flip 1134 over on a calculator.
Happy holidays!
What's 72?
69 with 3 people watching.
Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?
Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he could count his bars.
Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.
Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.
Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.
Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.