Numbers jokes

Math

Hey, math:

I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!

Number

How did number 1 kindly make number 2?

I got my ass kicked, let's be friends?

Memes

Boob

Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...

I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.

Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.

Number

Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?

Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."

Car

So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.

Mama

Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.

Victim

The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"

Girl

Why did the teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups?

Because they can't get even.

Mama

Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"

Orphan

Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.

Cancer

Patient number 14 was diagnosed with stage 4 melanoma—a type of skin cancer. Pretty ironic how he travels. He went to terminal 14.