Numbers jokes

What do squats eat? Numbers.

Hey, math:

I’m really tired of trying to find your X. Accept that she’s gone, and solve your own problems, dude!

Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."

How did number 1 kindly make number 2?

I got my ass kicked, let's be friends?

What kind of number hates nuts?

17.

Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...

I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.

Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.

What's 72?

69 with 3 people watching.

Why don't people play hide-and-seek in the number 4?

Because it would take forever. Get it? "For-ever" and "4" four, so "four ever."

Flip 1134 over on a calculator.

Happy holidays!

So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.

Yo mama is so fat when she stepped on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

The reason why in the US their emergency number is 911 is because of my uncle Mohamed, RIP, best pilot ever.

Why was the rapper so good at math?

Because he could count his bars.

Your mum is so cute that I asked for her number and she said yes, and now we're dating.

The last thing the victims were thinking was, "Is there 9 or 11 stories?"

Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"

Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.

I hope when you count, you lose the number you were on.

Why do orphans like the number seven? It's lucky, so maybe their parents will come back.

Turn the number 543354 upside down to see "sheesh."