10

10 Jokes

Million

In order to get $355 million for his civil fraud case, Donald Trump desperately needed to fundraise. So, in every Republican Party event, he will serve the Patriotic Trump Dog! It consists of an 80-year-old sausage inside a 10-year-old cream bun, topped with Russian dressing.

Trump does have the best people, doesn't he?

Milkman

A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.

Murder

After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.

But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!

Sex

My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.

Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!

That's the best I've done so far.

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  • 1
  • Pilot

    To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

    Step

    How to fall down stairs.

    Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

  • 5
  • Pedophile

    My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

    It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.

    Jimmy

    If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?

    10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.

    Doctor

    A doctor walks up to a dying man and sadly says: "I'm sorry, the test shows you only have 10 more to live."

    The man says "10!? 10 what!? Years? Weeks? Days? What?!!?"

    The doctor calmly replies "Nine".

    Sex

    If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.

    9/11

    Why were 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9. Then why was 10 afraid? Because it was between 9/11.

    What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43? Floor 44 💀💀

    Rape

    Did you hear about the German girl being raped by 10 men? She shouted, "nein, nein," so one of them left.

    Teacher

    One day, little Billy came in, pulling up his pants. The teacher asks, "Where have you been, Billy?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, little Willy came in. The teacher asked, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." Ten minutes later, little Johnny came in. The teacher says again, "Where have you been?" He says, "On top of Beverly Hill." A few minutes later, a girl came in. The teacher says, "Who are you?" She says, "I'm Beverly Hill."

  • 7
  • Blonde

    A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.

  • 9
  • Dollar

    Raaj went up to his mom and said, "I bet you 10 dollars I can disappear." Then he turned off the lights.

    Priest

    What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's?

    They both like to slide their meat between 10 year old buns.