Now jokes

Suicide

Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.

Cock

Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock!

Sun

You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.

Memes

Wife

A guy asked me what I do for a living.

Now I'm not old enough to get a job, so I said nothing. He asked me again, so I said, "Your wife!" The guy goes to slap me, but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

Boob

Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.

Palestine

People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.

The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."

Rooster

Why did the rooster cross the road?

To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^

Marijuana

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.

Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"

Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,

But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.

Gender

How are genders and the Twin Towers alike?

There was 2, now it's a sensitive subject.

Gender

What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?

There used to be two, but now it's a touchy subject.

Witch

Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?

Prince

I'm really bored and I don't know what's up with Prince. He isn't talking to me.

And Freshfry, why are you so mean now?

Imposter

I remember last year all these bitches called me lame so I stopped the simping and pretended I was gay, now I think they're all fucking with me.

I'm an LGBTQ imposter got cut last year know I've made the roster and you may think I'm a monster. I'm just just tryna see some titties.

Tree

If trees were sentient, they would make their furniture out of bone, flesh, and blood.

Now ain't that cool?

Mama

Yo mama so fat, when God said, "Let there be light!" she blocked the sun. Now we call her the moon.