Now jokes
Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.
Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.
"Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"
"Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."
When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.
The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.
After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."
"How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"
I could tell a joke right now, but it's too dark.
Yo mama so fat I can see where you got in from now.
Anyone want to eat me up? I'm in that kind of mood right now.
I threw a gay person into a fire. Now we call him LGBBQ.
Memes
My parents found my YT channel. I hate myself now, and I'm emotional.
SELF HARM
I really used to be into emo chicks. Now they just don't make the cut.
Papyrus: Sans, I have a joke. What do you call someone lazy and incompetent?
Sans: What do you call them?
Papyrus: YOU! NOW GET UP AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM, YOU LAZY BONES!
What's one similarity between the twin towers and gender?
There used to be 2, and now it's a sensitive subject.
Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock. Now suck that cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock, cock!
The world has turned upside down. Orphans are now being homeschooled.
Your hairline is so curvy now, Ice Spice has competition!
You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.
Chuck Norris has come in contact with Covid.
Covid is now in a 14-day quarantine.
Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There were two when we were kids, but now it’s a touchy subject.
Exercise?
I thought you said "extra fries!"
-A minion (you may now laugh).
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a touchy subject.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "I know you wanna!"
Jill said yes, lifted up her dress, and then they had some fun,
But stupid Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches don’t serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?