The Twin Towers are just like genders, There used to be two but now it's a sensitive topic
Kidnapping is just surprise adoption, congrats! You are now all my children! Just hop into the portal that leads to the Lust ring in hell-
My therapist said Time heal all wounds. I stabbed him. Now we wait....
Why are the twin towers and after the girls kill all boys are similar? There used to be two but now there's one...
A proud new dad sits down with his own father.
His father says, "Son,you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.
The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.
His father says, "Hi, Honoured, I'm Dad."
My girlfriend broke up with me because of my pasta fetish.
I'm feeling cannelloni right now.
You heard of spider man no way home. Now get ready for. Orphan: no way home.
If I was an object in this world I'd be a glass! Because if you leave me when I'm too close to the edge I will likely shatter and break.
If I was a pizza topping I would be pineapple! Because everybody doubts me.
I'm a star! Because one of these days I'm going to crash and burn...
If I could choose what creature I come back as after I die I'd be a panda, because people would give a shit if I went extinct.
I'm like the sun; I'm painful to look at.
If I was a food I would be chopped liver because nobody likes me.
I'm like an eggshell... broken and empty.
If I was a mythical creature I'd be a unicorn! Because nobody believes in me.
I'm like a flashlight with old batteries inside because my inner light died a long time ago.
My soul is a raisin because it's dried up shriveled, and not everyone likes it.
I'm like the moon because you only get to see one side of me.
I'm like the moon because as the month progresses my life becomes covered more and more by darkness.
I'm like an Ex streamly powerful fan! Because I push everyone away.
I'm like a disposable camera! People use me once and then just throw me away.
I'm like a shity book cover... because people think they have the right to judge and label me before they read my pages.
My brain and body is essentially a really old married couple that can't afford to go through with the divorce and now they are stuck in a toxic relationship they are desperate to escape but the more they try the more they sink into the quicksand that is my depression and anxiety
Help me....
The police department made a new machine that will teleport you back to prison if you commit a crime. The police release 4 criminals. I hacker, a rapist, a serial killer and a drug lord. The hacker tries to hack a bank. The hacker gets teleported back to prison. The drug lord tries to cook meth. The drug lord gets teleported back to prison. Now the serial decides that she wantโs to change, but when she see a knife she just canโt help it. He bends down to pick up the knife and the rapist get teleported back to prison
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police. She exclaims, โHello, is this 911?โ The other person, โYes, what is your emergency?โ The blonde answered, โI called to inform you that youโre 910 now.โ
in the hospital i saw a girl with cancer trying to sleep the icu was going beep beep beep i think thats why she cant sleep so I turned it of shes asleep forever now nighty night
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves? I'm not a-moosed right now.
Now its time to make fun of aisans. What do you call an aisan eating jelly? Yellow Jell-O
My mom gave my friend for a blow job for god luck on his job interview, then my mom gave my other friend a blow job for his interview and they both got the job, now who needs good luck got their job interview just ask my mom. My mom is a good luck charm.
What makes genders and twin towers similar? There used to be two of them and now its a sensitive subject.
READ THIS OUT LOUD: This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is an cat This is idiot cat This is a busy cat This is a for cat This is forty cat this is seconds cat
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said "you know you wanna"
Jill said yes and lifted up her dress they had some fun
But silly Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son
Given that it's a major guarantee that little boys underwear will be half off at Kmart thanks to the blue light specials, now you know why Michael Jackson likes to loiter around the store all day long.
Once when I was 6 I had a massive crush on a girl in my grade. She liked me too, and we kissed under a tree. Next day, same spot, but now she's pregnant. That stupid dad stole my girl
