Nothing

Nothing jokes

Friend: If you could get rid of any one person in your life, who would it be?

Me: Me.

Friend: *does nothing*

(x_x)

I forgot that I don't have friends.

I used to know a guy from a nudist colony.

Man, I tell you, nothing looked good on him!

Wife: Hi babe. Husband: Hey. Wife: Do you wanna? Husband: YES! Wife: Ok, make sure you have a towel to go to the beach. Husband: WHAT? You mean go to the beach? Wife: Yes, what did you think I meant? Husband: Oh, nothing, bye. Wife: Bye, see you there.

What’s the difference between my lawn and my wrists?

Nothing, I cut both of them.

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  • Person: Hey, do you know what's the best thing in life?

    ...

    You do realize that I said nothing, right?

    Me: Exactly :)

    Bully: "You are so stupid!"

    Classmate: does nothing.

    Bully: "Oi, I'm talking to you!"

    Classmate: "Oh, you're talking to me? I thought you were talking to yourself."

    Q. What's the difference between my phone battery and an anti-vax kid?

    A. Nothing, they both die at ten.

    Adopted kid:

    Hey, Alex, what are you doing?

    Alex:

    Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."

    Adopted kid:

    OK, dad Alex.

    Alex:

    Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!

    Adopted kid:

    I’m so glad I have a mom.

    What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.

    Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌

    Want to know something good about people giving ZERO fucks about you and living in the country?

    Everybody knows nothing.