Nothing jokes

Hey y'all, you want to read something funny? Then look up "Greater Tuna" OID and read the script. It's the best. I'm performing it for an OID (Oral Interpretation of Drama) and it kicks ass. Check it out. Also, the name I'm using is my Roblox Username. Friend me.

What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?

Nothing, they both stain.

What did Superman say to Batman?

Nothing, Bruce is dead.

Pick up line for girls with the last name "Berg":

"I may be a tall glass of whiskey, but I'm nothing without a few ice Bergs."

Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.

Patient: It runs in the family.

Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.

What did the egg say to the other egg?

Nothing, they can't talk.

To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.

What's the difference between a drill and a priest?

Nothing, they both like screwing stuff!

What's the difference between my thighs and my eyebrows? Nothing, I slit both of them.

Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."

Friends: comments give reason.

Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."

Day later:

Mom: Let me see your TikTok.

Me: Shows her the video.

Mom: calls suicide.

JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.

What did Michael Jackson say?

Nothing, he's dead.

What is the difference between a cow and me?

Nothing.

What does an orphan do on school parents' day? Nothing.

What is green and looks like a school bus?

A school bus.

What did the bird say to the other bird?

Nothing, because birds can't talk.

"This dude right here don't look nothing like no damn Tyrese Gibson. He look like a hot, fishy tail termite all dressed in green makeup."

A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high, smoking weed, talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage.

And then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor, gets drunk, and asks the rabbit, "Can I have one more scotch, pretty please?"

And the rabbit says, "Hell to the naw, I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath."

Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.

My friend: What’s wrong?

Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂

Me telling a depression and suicide joke in front of my friends.

My friends: ........ Oh wait, I don't have any, so nothing to worry about here.

What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?

Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.